


A Light At The Center

by valkysrie



Category: The Expanse (TV), The Expanse Series - James S. A. Corey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Snow, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-22 23:36:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkysrie/pseuds/valkysrie
Summary: When Holden comes home from fighting a pointless war, he struggles with his emotions and isolation. Finally, after months of hiding in his home with his mother, he ventures out into the town he hadn't seen in years. He meets a woman and he knows that she's going to change his life.





	A Light At The Center

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bellastop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellastop/gifts).



> Bella gave me a prompt that was literally just any modern au nolden so here we are, this was surprisingly really emotional to write? I felt this hella weird connection to Holden even though the way I wrote him doesn't exactly relate to me in anyway (this is a lie), maybe it's just because I love him sm and miss him, who knows. Anyway, hope the few expanse fans out there enjoy this :)

          Winter in Montana was Holden’s favorite sight in the world. He wasn’t too fond of the cold but the snow was like magic dancing all around him and it made him smile for the first time in months. He was staying with his mom after returning home from the war. He felt broken down and sometimes the emptiness in his chest frightened him to the point of tears, but things were getting better. 

          He stepped out into the cold, a coffee mug in one hand and a book in the other. Sometimes he’d wake up before sunrise and read, fill his mind with stories not much different than his own. It made him feel less alone in the world. There were days when the loneliness would eat him away and he’d be so angry at the universe for what it put him through and angry at himself for the choices he’s made. Holden looked out to the small town just a few miles away. It was lit up just in time for Christmas. He hadn’t had a real Christmas in years. The lights twinkled under the stars and he got that feeling like he was home. 

          Looking out at the small town made him think. He hadn’t been outside his house since he got back, too scared he’d see the faces of those he’d lost in strangers eyes, feel the guilt he’s been carrying as he walked the neighborhoods of their loved ones. Today was a new day and maybe he could be a new version of himself. 

          Holden turned around at the sound of the front door opening. His mom stepped out, her robe wrapped over her pajamas like a blanket, and her dark brown hair flying in every direction. 

          “What are you doing up so early, sweetheart?” He bent down to kiss his head before sitting beside him. He smiled, feeling like a young boy again.

          “Needed to think.” He paused, took a deep breathe before continuing. “I think I’m ready to go out.” His mothers eyes widened slightly as her face broke into a grin. 

          “I think that’s a lovely idea.” 

 

          Holden didn’t know why but he felt like today was going to be a good day. He blew out a nervous breath as he put on his favorite jacket and laced up his boots. It was a little below freezing outside so he wrapped a thick scarf around his neck too just to be safe. It brought a warm smile to his face as he remembered his friend Alex making it for him a long time ago. He wondered how he was doing. Maybe he should call him.

          “Be safe out there!” His mom shouted from the kitchen. She was making banana bread, Holden’s favorite, and the scent of it filled his nostrils and he almost didn’t want to leave. It was so comfortable here, so warm and safe. He didn’t know what awaited him in town. 

          “Always am.” He called back before stepping outside. It wasn’t as cold as it was earlier but the wind hit face and he inhaled sharply. It was like a thousand tiny needles pricking his skin.

          People talked a million miles per minute all around him, nodding along to whatever conversation they were having with each other and Holden felt incredibly alone. He looked around him at all the familiar faces he grew up with, the faces who no longer recognized him. He barely did himself. A few eyes glanced his way with confusion written in their expression and his heart twitched at the idea that one of them might remember him. 

          No one did. He felt empty. He had fought for them, or at least was told he was, almost _died_ for them and it meant nothing. He realized it never did. It gave him a cold feeling in his chest, one that hadn’t gone away.

          Then she caught his eye and his heart filled with something warm. Her dark brown eyes darted to the floor as she noticed him staring. His palms started sweating despite the cool temperatures. Maybe his heart sped up too. Holden hadn’t felt real emotion in longer than he’d like to admit which is why when she started to walk towards him after a minute, he turned the other direction, but not before seeing the look of confusion and disappointment on the woman's face. He sighed, the weight of the world seeming to fall upon his shoulders. 

          Holden turned back around just in time to see her walking away. Her curls bounced on her shoulders, flakes of snow falling all around her. She looked like an angel. 

          “Wait!” He shouted. She turned around and the world seemed to slow. The people around them moving in slow motion along with the falling snow. It was a moment he had read about in books. A feeling that seemed so far away, one he could never reach. 

          He never believed in love at first sight but maybe he was starting to. 

          “Hi.” He breathed out, smiling slightly as he reached the woman. If possible, she was more beautiful up close. She was taller than him, slimmer too. And her face was beautiful, her features unique in a way that took his breath away.

          “Hey.” She chuckled. The sound was the only one in the entire universe he wanted to hear. “I’m Naomi. Have we met before?” 

          “Does that line ever work.” She burst into laughter, her eyes crinkling at the corners. He couldn’t help but laugh along with her, his chest light with happiness. “I’m Holden though-sorry Jim, I mean.” His cheeks burned with embarrassment. He wasn’t used to introducing himself by his first time.

          “Well, it’s nice to meet you Holden Jim?” A cute look of confusion crossed her face and he swore he fell in love with her in that moment. “That can’t be your real name.” She laughed, her head falling slightly as her curls wrapped around her cheeks. She was breathtaking.

          “It’s Jim Holden. Everyone always called me Holden because of the uh, the war, and stuff.” He looked down uncomfortably. He hated talking about it, hated even thinking about it but it was always there. He looked up as her hand touched his shoulder. It made him forget everything.

          “It’s going to be okay, Jim.” She smiled and he believed her whole heartedly. “I have a good feeling about you. I don’t know what it is exactly.” Naomi tilted her head slightly as she studied him. Usually that’d make him uncomfortable but he felt safe.

          He nodded his in front of them, gesturing for her to walk beside him. She smiled warmly and they started walking. They didn’t have to say anything. They walked, nearly hand in hand, their eyes twinkling under the bright sky, snow falling all around them, and their hearts beating like one. Holden looked up at her. She smiled back at him and winter in Montana was no longer his favorite sight in the world because she was standing right beside him, smiling at him like he was the light at the center of the universe and he felt like he was flying.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that was so much fluff!! and maybe it was a little rushed but Holden and Naomi deserve to have a love in a universe where there isn't so much chaos. anyway I may or may not write a part two to this if I ever feel up to it but it was a very open to your interpretation ending which I like doing so who knows, love yall (the two expanse fans who read this) <3


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